Weight-loss struggles!
This has been a topic I've considered posting about a few times... but for some reason hadn't yet.
Today I was inspired by Nicole's post: "On Being Chubby"
I think most of us PWDs who've had the disease for awhile, have experienced the somewhat inevitable weight gain. My experience with this came at a particularly inopportune time: teenagehood.
Diagnosed in the summer of 1993, I was entering 8th grade and 13 years old. I was one of those silly girls who swore I was FAT! when I weighted 105 lbs! Literally, the most I ever weighed before diabetes was 107. At the time of diagnoses, I was 92 lbs and super excited about filling into size 0 Bongo jeans (well, excited while I wasn't eating, drinking or peeing for the last month!)
I don't know about everyone else, but during my hospital stay they fed me like CRAZY! Huge portions of food (and not all if it very healthy)- trying to fatten me up, since "I'd been basically starving to death!" The amount of food they fed me followed me back to my everyday life.
During the next school year, I remember going up sizes fairly quickly. A particularly traumatic experience was buying shorts with a size 30 waist! :) Ridiculous now, I know!
Junior high lead to high school. I continued to gain weight, slowly but surely throughout high school. I played sports, had boyfriends and great friends, but my weight started to bother me.
Another memory that stands out was when I had a dress made for the junior prom. In order to make the dress look right (since I was biggest in my belly) the dressmaker gave me a C-cup! I had to stuff it! The guys at my high school watched a barely B cup girl turn into a bombshell overnight!!
In college, my self-esteem was pretty low. I worked out a lot, but the college dorm-food and lifestyle was sabotaging my efforts. At my heaviest I was about 165 lbs, which I know is not that much, but I'm short and it had all settled in my belly area. Unfortunately I was in college when Britney Spears and the stomach barring style took off!
Sadly, the boyfriend I chose in college played into all of my insecurities about my body. He'd tell me I was beautiful and then mention "Oh, but you'd be even more beautiful if you lost a few pounds." (Don't worry that man is long gone from my life!)
The issues we diabetics potentially have with our bodies is multi-fold. Insulin doesn't do the prettiest things to our bodies, but we have to have it. We'd obviously rather be less than perfect in the figure department but be alive and healthy! Still, the battle continues.
Through A LOT of exercise and attention to my diet, I have gotten my body to a muscular, fit 150 lbs. My lower stomach roll (I think someone called it the "muffin top" which I loved!!) is not too big, but well defined. It's not going anywhere, anytime soon.
Living in Southern California, I think the pressure to have a perfect body is intensified. This weekend my husband and I hit the beach. The parade of young girls in San Diego with bikini ready bodies is ridiculous!! However, I didn't let it get to me! I proudly wore my bikini with sport cut bottoms (and got terribly sunburnt)!
I continue to work out and eat healthfully, as much for my blood sugar management as weight loss these days. (Though I'm having great toning success with Tae bo Bootcamp!)
My body seem really content at the weight I'm at. If I eat too much one weekend or cut way down on calories, I don't see any difference in my clothes or on the scale. There's a certain freedom in that.
Today I was inspired by Nicole's post: "On Being Chubby"
I think most of us PWDs who've had the disease for awhile, have experienced the somewhat inevitable weight gain. My experience with this came at a particularly inopportune time: teenagehood.
Diagnosed in the summer of 1993, I was entering 8th grade and 13 years old. I was one of those silly girls who swore I was FAT! when I weighted 105 lbs! Literally, the most I ever weighed before diabetes was 107. At the time of diagnoses, I was 92 lbs and super excited about filling into size 0 Bongo jeans (well, excited while I wasn't eating, drinking or peeing for the last month!)
I don't know about everyone else, but during my hospital stay they fed me like CRAZY! Huge portions of food (and not all if it very healthy)- trying to fatten me up, since "I'd been basically starving to death!" The amount of food they fed me followed me back to my everyday life.
During the next school year, I remember going up sizes fairly quickly. A particularly traumatic experience was buying shorts with a size 30 waist! :) Ridiculous now, I know!
Junior high lead to high school. I continued to gain weight, slowly but surely throughout high school. I played sports, had boyfriends and great friends, but my weight started to bother me.
Another memory that stands out was when I had a dress made for the junior prom. In order to make the dress look right (since I was biggest in my belly) the dressmaker gave me a C-cup! I had to stuff it! The guys at my high school watched a barely B cup girl turn into a bombshell overnight!!
In college, my self-esteem was pretty low. I worked out a lot, but the college dorm-food and lifestyle was sabotaging my efforts. At my heaviest I was about 165 lbs, which I know is not that much, but I'm short and it had all settled in my belly area. Unfortunately I was in college when Britney Spears and the stomach barring style took off!
Sadly, the boyfriend I chose in college played into all of my insecurities about my body. He'd tell me I was beautiful and then mention "Oh, but you'd be even more beautiful if you lost a few pounds." (Don't worry that man is long gone from my life!)
The issues we diabetics potentially have with our bodies is multi-fold. Insulin doesn't do the prettiest things to our bodies, but we have to have it. We'd obviously rather be less than perfect in the figure department but be alive and healthy! Still, the battle continues.
Through A LOT of exercise and attention to my diet, I have gotten my body to a muscular, fit 150 lbs. My lower stomach roll (I think someone called it the "muffin top" which I loved!!) is not too big, but well defined. It's not going anywhere, anytime soon.
Living in Southern California, I think the pressure to have a perfect body is intensified. This weekend my husband and I hit the beach. The parade of young girls in San Diego with bikini ready bodies is ridiculous!! However, I didn't let it get to me! I proudly wore my bikini with sport cut bottoms (and got terribly sunburnt)!
I continue to work out and eat healthfully, as much for my blood sugar management as weight loss these days. (Though I'm having great toning success with Tae bo Bootcamp!)
My body seem really content at the weight I'm at. If I eat too much one weekend or cut way down on calories, I don't see any difference in my clothes or on the scale. There's a certain freedom in that.
posted by Kelsey @ 4:53 PM
2 Comments:
At 7:59 PM,
stella said…
Hi Kelsey,
I've recently written a post about my own weight, but haven't had the guts to actually post it. You've inspired me!
I was 77 pounds when I was diagnosed, and they put me on a 2000 calorie diet... and they never took me off. Years and years later, I've never been able to wean myself down.
Even with tighter control, I know I'm still feeding the insulin alot of the time.
Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone.
-Stella
At 9:33 PM,
Scott K. Johnson said…
Hi Kelsey,
Sounds like you are doing just great.
It is quite a struggle, but one I think I would be struggling with even if I was not diabetic.
I was talking with my dad the other day, and the idea came up that by being diabetic I am probably a little better equipped, better educated, and better able to work on that calorie/exercise balance.
Being happy is most important, and for me, working to uncover the mental issues I have behind the food I eat is what I'm currently working on. I think that as we grow into secure adults, that balance is a bit easier to achieve - we are less swayed by others opinions.
Finding the balance - it's the key to so many areas in our lives.
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