At the end of 7th grade I started losing weight. I remember being all excited because my size 5 jeans were too big and my size 3 were even loose! I went to camp and ate Airheads like they were going out of style :) I left a campfire one night after drinking 3 diet sodas and refilled the can with water and drank a few of those. I even resorted to cupping my hands under the faucet in the bathroom and just drinking and drinking... oh the thirst! My parents picked me up and we spent a weekend at our neighbor's cabin. I spent the entire weekend lying on the couch while the other kids swam and played. Our neighbor mentioned to my dad that I might be anorexic. He was furious at the suggestion, but my parents didn't know what was going on.
Finally we got home and I started having flu symptoms... so off we went to see my dear pediatrician Dr. Joe. It took him all of two seconds to diagnose me. He told me that I had diabetes and would need to go to the hospital right away. I had ALL of the Babysitters Club books and Stacy, who had diabetes, was my favorite character. So I knew this meant I'd have to take shots! That was the worst, because I was scared to death of needles. I had passed out getting my ears pierced and when I had my MMR booster shot!!
My experience at the hospital was wonderful! My wonderful mom spent the entire five days sleeping on a cot beside me, I had tons of visitors and the nurses were saints. I loved being there! I felt so safe and well taken care of.
Getting used to the self-care was another matter. The injections were actually okay. I did them myself from the very beginning. I was 13 and my parents wanted me to retain my independence. Finger sticks for testing my blood was another matter. I remember sitting up in my bedroom with the "pricker" against my finger for nearly a half an hour before I'd have the nerve to hit the button! It's amazing how difficult something once was, which is now second nature to me.
Diabetes has profoundly shaped who I am. I think one of the best ways it has changed me is that I have to think of myself first. By nature I am a pleaser and I take on too much stuff. But being diabetic makes you have to take care of yourself first. I think that makes me a better wife, daughter, sister and friend because I'm not running around doing everything for someone else and then resenting it. I'm sure it'll make me a better mom too.
For many years I just dealt with diabetes, doing what I needed to to get by, but not really controlling it. I've altered my care a lot in the last year. It feels amazing to know that I can take excellent care of myself, instead of just "B- care."
It sounds silly, but I'm almost proud to have this disease. Only the strong survive the daily grind of diabetes management. Now that I've gotten to know other diabetics, mostly through the OC, I feel proud to be part of this group! Amazing people, with such strength and optimism.